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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27405337">Three Office Parties</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsushi/pseuds/Tsushi'>Tsushi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Lupin III</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>I feel like this is green jacket, M/M, but it's pretty cute, younger lupin being a jerk</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 21:36:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,873</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27405337</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tsushi/pseuds/Tsushi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lupin found out Zenigata’s birthday and of course he has to do something with this information! Why not slowly drive Zenigata insane?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Arsène Lupin III/Zenigata Kouichi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>62</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Three Office Parties</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>   The first year Lupin was driven by morbid curiosity. He just </span>
  <b>HAD </b>
  <span>to know what a guy like this would do on his birthday. It turns out, if you go in disguise as one of the officers, and just stay off to the side, he barely notices you.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   It was almost enough to make him feel sorry for the lug. Off to the side was a frankly sad sheet cake, a few thoughtless gifts, and a card. On the outside was a bland illustration, and the inside was filled with notes that were blander still, indicating that barely any of his coworkers knew what to say to him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   Lupin had considered breaking character, just to spice things up. But he somehow stayed interested in the mundane scene long enough to make it to the end of the day. He changed disguises and followed Zenigata out, trailing him to a bar. Zenigata ordered a pint, and drank it alone. It was enough to tug at Lupin’s conscience. If he had one, that is.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   The second year when the date rolled around, Lupin was feeling a perfect mixture of sadistic and grateful. Zenigata had recovered the painting he had worked so hard to steal. But the memory was still fresh: the cold night air on his cheeks, and his legs pushed to their limit from running. There was a sting of...something.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   Some vague notion of consequences, of the distinct possibility of getting caught. There were no ladies or novel traps on that heist, but still, the thudding of Zenigata’s heavy footfall behind him had pushed him to make a genuine effort. Lupin was going to pay him back for that. This year was almost a repeat of the first, but there was one key difference. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     Lupin signed the card. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     He laughed to himself, wondering how long it would take for Zenigata to notice it. What if the idiot never noticed it, and tossed it right into the trash? Even while making polite conversation with the rest of the department, Lupin’s stomach hurt from holding back stray giggles. Zenigata’s time had been spent increasingly searching everywhere for Lupin the Third, and here he would be, missing out on the great thief, while he was right under his nose. Lupin got bored quickly, but this was worth a repeat. It hadn’t gotten old yet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   To be fair, it might have gotten old, if Pops didn’t have such wonderfully explosive reactions when he realized he’d been had. It was annoying to have to wait on them, though. Lupin could snatch up whatever he wanted, but getting a reaction was somewhat harder. People needed to be primed, if something was to be impressive, or to leave an impact. He hung around, watching secretaries and officers pick at cake.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   There were half a dozen people here he could needle, and dozens of times he passed by Zenigata himself. What if he brushed his shoulder while walking by, and slipped something into his wallet? What if he scrawled something on the cake? What if he bumped into the man, made him drop his slice of cake, and, just as Zenigata looked up, Lupin dropped the subordinate expression for juuuust long enough to grin, to let the man know that he was right there, had snuck in and wandered about him all day long, that Zenigata had not been paranoid after all, and now, the chase was </span>
  <b>on.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     Arrrgh. No. Waiting was the worst, but he’d made his plan, and the card would be best. It was quiet and loud all at once, and it would not immediately direct attention toward him. But if it took much longer, Lupin would have to to follow him home to see him read the card, if he read it at all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   Lupin’s jaw set, trying not to grind his teeth, as yet another well-wisher wasted Zenigata’s time, droning on about some minor, non-Lupin-related accomplishment from the past year. Sure, it was nice to see them showing the inspector a little more respect now. But did they have to do it NOW? There must have been a better time to bore the room chatting him up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   Lupin shoved his hands in his pockets. He had forgotten what a sentimental man Zenigata was. Lupin looked up at the clock. It felt like an eternity, the inspector was mingling with his coworkers. He began to move away from them, but it was only to cut himself a slice of cake. A cake that was only appealing because it was free and directly in front of you. Carefully cutting off a corner portion, filled with poorly-sculpted icing flowers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>    And then blushing, handing it over to the lady next to him. Wasting more time with an admittedly cute little war of manners, before she finally took it. Zenigata then cut himself a new, generous but plain-looking slice. Looking so pleased with himself. Lupin found his little styrofoam cup empty, a perfect, genuine excuse to head over to the snack table himself. But as he made his way over, Zenigata headed back toward his desk, and sat down to eat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   Before frustration could enter Lupin’s eyes, Zenigata was already pulling the card from its envelope.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   Lupin knew he should hang back a bit farther, but he couldn’t help himself. He left his empty cup on the table. He had to watch Zenigata’s face from as close as possible. He had to see the reaction. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>    Zenigata’s eyes passed over the card, at times soft, other times laughing a little, one message nearly making him blush with pride. His eyes flitted up, looking about the room, and landing fondly on one of the more fresh-faced looking recruits. That one must have written something especially kind, as they locked eyes, and smiled warmly at one another.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     Come on, come on, Lupin caught himself before he’d begun to rock on his heels.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <span>Zenigata’s eyes returned to the card, making their way back and forth, from spot to spot…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     ...then stopping. Widening. A moment before, his thick fingers had been holding the card with such delicacy, treating the silly thing with more reverence and care than Lupin had shown to the dead sea scrolls last month. But now, His fingernails dug in, creasing it, bending it, unaware that he was crushing it in his grasp. Face turning red. Angry? Excited? Both? Lupin let the moment hang. Nobody in the room had noticed Zenigata’s change in demeanor. Nobody had seen him open the best damn birthday gift you could give him. Nobody else could feel the lull, all the water pulling back, the shallows before the big wave hit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   Lupin was nimble on his feet, and he knew how through Zenigata could be, he had only moments to disappear into the background. He had to move, leave before Zenigata was pulling at the face of every person in the office. Or he would’ve been nimble. Would’ve left. But he was watching, along with everyone else, a trainwreck in progress. He was here for the show to begin with. The party was only starting now. Why cut the fun short?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   He had a  front-row seat as Zenigata screamed his name, flinging himself from his chair, looking like he had just sat on an upturned pin. He felt the air move as Zenigata gestured wildly, ears ringing as Zenigata’s throat produced decibels and decibels of bellowing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     It was all even better than he had pictured it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     Zenigata grabbed the nearest person by the shirt, and it was Lupin. He froze his expression as best he could, while Zenigata’s big fists shook him, seizing upon his shoulders. He wanted to laugh and laugh at the surprising strength of the grip. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <em>
    <span>Hey, Pops, you caught me.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     Zenigata finished his orders there, demanding Lupin get everyone to check IDs. Lupin gave him an exaggerated, respectful salute.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   “Yes sir, Inspector.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>    He hustled toward the elevator and managed to hold in the howling laughter until the doors shut. He could even still hear the beginnings of Zenigata’s interrogation of everyone else on that floor. Delightful. And, a perfect gift, if he could say so himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   He would be nice and occupied all evening. He trusted that Zenigata understood what a gift it was to be free of depressing boredom, the kind that left you thinking far too much about regrets. If he had those, that is.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   The third year he knew he probably shouldn’t push his luck. But Lupin the Third had gobs of luck, and when he didn’t, he made his own. Besides, even if Zenigata didn’t know, it was tradition, by now. And they’d spent so much time together over the last year! Lupin was certain that he was quickly becoming Zenigata’s nearest, dearest mortal enemy. He had to show up!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   But he couldn’t have Zenigata expecting it, it would ruin their quality time together at the party. So to throw him off, Lupin left a small gift right outside his apartment. Wrapped up in red, his distinctive signature slapped right on the top.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   Zenigata might accidentally step on it, but he couldn’t miss it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   Neither could Lupin. He watched from a rooftop on the opposite side of the street with binoculars, zeroed in on Zenigata’s reaction. Waiting was easier this time, since Lupin didn’t need to hold back any reactions of his own. He let out a loud guffaw at the way Zenigata’s lips curled when he got suspicious. He had to clutch his head and laugh at the silliness of it all, as Zenigata started searching left and right for more evidence. His toes curled in his shoes at the the gleam in his eyes when he thought he was on Lupin’s trail.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     All that emotion, all for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   Lupin upgraded his costume for the office party. He checked out the staff, found someone who was on vacation, and made a spot-on replica of his face. He wouldn’t sign the card this time, he would just watch Zenigata try to figure out his gift: a diabolical little puzzle box.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>    It was empty, and if he managed to get it open, it would play a little happy birthday tune and then explode. A distraction, obviously, but Zenigata was so absorbed in the thing, bent over his desk with glasses on, turning and examining every angle. Lupin lurked nearby, fixated on watching Zenigata’s focused face while he pretended to do paperwork.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   The chief eventually tapped the large man on the shoulder and told him they had a cake for him in the break room. Lupin joined the staff as they gathered around yet another gross sheet cake. Lupin wondered idly if he should taste it this year. See exactly how mediocre it was. Maybe next year, he could bring the sap something good from Ladurée. Zenigata would likely destroy whatever cake Lupin brought, and wouldn’t he feel so foolish when-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>   And that’s when, to the horror of his coworkers, Zenigata turned and locked the door, his smile broad and manic. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     “I’ve got you this year, you little bastard!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     And when Zenigata turned on his whole office with that grin, there was one more reaction Lupin had to hide: a sudden swell of feelings for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>     If he had them, that is.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks to Alexis Royce for editing!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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